NEW CANADA

 

NEW CANADA

 

The above alludes to a whole new and exciting concept.  Never mind Trump and his delusional references to Canada becoming the 51^st state of America.  We need to forgive American recklessness up to a point, not because of historical ignorance or ignorance in general, but in part it can be traced back to origin.  The people that were attracted to the New World were either refugees, conscientious objectors, ex-convicts, religious zealots and basically anyone fleeing and seeking adventure and opportunity.  A lot of questionable characters and dubious backgrounds.  Not exactly a promising mix.  It has spawned a lot of grand ideas lacking proper execution.  This seems to be a permanent flaw embedded in America’s MO. 

First lesson to be learned

Americans!  Listen up!  You are a failing nation of states, up to your eyeballs in debt, running out of options and resources.  What you really need is a brand-new approach to solving your problems and Canada will give it to you on a silver platter.  No silly promises of a golden age, but a potential way out.

Canada will take over America (Not a hostile takeover, but a friendly merger) and the new nation will be re-branded as New Canada.  It is important that you shed uncomfortable past baggage and black pages of history.  (No pun intended there)  What you need is a fresh start!  I will give you a list of advantages.

You need to shed the America name and image

Canada will assume (reluctantly, very, very reluctantly) your horrendous debt load and deficits and it is about time that you will be the recipient of a proven and time-tested parliamentary system such as ours.  No more executive office staffed by cronies and un-elected officials and the Prime Minister (no more presidents) on occasion (when not gallivanting around the globe and meeting with foreign dignitaries) will be present in parliament to answer questions and engage in a real debate with elected colleagues.  Wouldn’t that be refreshing?

I would suggest proportional representation to introduce a greater level of fairness.  No more gerrymandering.  Fairness by the way is a typical Canadian concept that deserves to be spread out around the world.

There will be tougher gun laws and gun restrictions and before you know it mass shootings will be a thing of the past.  Almost and hopefully.

You will also be the recipients of a National Healthcare program that gives everybody access to healthcare regardless of income.  All you have to do is show your Health Card.  Insurance companies will have to look elsewhere to rob people blind.

A New Canada will also entail a much kinder nation with New Canadian values that include diversity, inclusion and negotiated trade agreements that are fair and respectful to all parties involved.

There will be less emphasis on military might, ass kicking and hardware spending.  The New Canada might will lie in strategic economic partnerships and in truly putting a value on the hard work provided by all its citizens.  More money into the pockets of the average worker and a bit less into the pockets of the rich.  They’ll hardly notice the difference.

New Canada will respect the integrity of nations and borders and will be an active participant in all national and international endeavors that promote international peace and cooperation.  A global player without carrying a big stick or resorting to idle and stupid threats.  The sticks and bats will be reserved for hockey and baseball.

In New Canada we take aggression out on the ice, in arenas and sport fields, not on battlefields.  We need to shed that “America kicks ass thing” and the bad boy image.  New Canadians are nice people, polite and willing to say sorry.  Just a sign of good manners.

All of the above and so much more will lead to New Canada being recognized as one of the nicest nations on the planet and New Canada will emerge as an example everybody wants to follow and “eh” will become a global expression of kindness and compassion of all things New Canada.  “He’s from New Canada, eh!”

Suggestion

First of all you need to dump Trump and all his posturing and insults and convert to New Canada.  If you’re truly looking for a proper way out, embrace New Canada.  We’re quite willing to adopt the name change.  Historically the moniker New has been attached to quite a few places; New Haven, New Amsterdam, which is now New York, New England, and many more.  We already have a New Zealand, so why not a New Canada.  A fresh start with a name that is synonymous with kind and nice.

Integrating America into New Canada is a huge risk considering America’s horrendous debts, international baggage and thanks to Trump, a dubious reputation, but we’re nice, eh.  And personally, if I had my way, I would limit political contributions and prevent rich people from purchasing political positions and power.  Let democracy work for you.  If this isn’t the biggest olive branch ever handed out I’d eat my Tilley hat.  Canadians are a kind and generous people and an offer like this only comes about once, not in a lifetime, but in all of humanity’s history.  The eagle will be gone to be replaced by a beaver and a maple leaf.  Hockey, hot chocolate, bears and moose.  Together we will have it all, from tacos to poutine and everything in between.  When it comes to junk food we will have the global market cornered.  “Peace, man, that’s all I want.”  Who said that?